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USA: Tim Burton, 1990

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UK/USA: Ridley Scott, 2005

Visually, this has Ridley Scott's expert touch all over it, but in terms of the script, it's even more sloppy than King Arthur. The pacing is uneven and, throughout most of the film, there doesn't seem to be any real point to what is happening. Furthermore, while Orlando Bloom is better than I was expecting him to be, he simply doesn't have the chops to carry a film of this scale. So many brilliant actors - including Eva Green and Jeremy Irons - are wasted in roles that don't give them an opportunity to shine, and I suspect that some very heavy editing has gone on at one point or another. Maybe the rumoured extended cut will improve on this.

PS. I have to say I found the use of the "Vide Cor Meum" piece from Hannibal to be a very odd choice and extremely distracting.

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UK: Alfred Hitchcock, 1972

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USA: Alfred Hitchcock, 1955

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USA: Alfred Hitchcock, 1954

This one is a slow burner but a damn good one at that. This is many people's favourite Hitchcock film, and while I wouldn't go so far as to say it's mine (I prefer North by Northwest and Dial M for Murder), but I can't deny that it's an absolutely fantastic piece of work, extremely accomplished in every way.

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USA: Francis Lawrence, 2005

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France: Jean-Claude Brisseau, 2002

Choses Secrètes is an intriguing affair, to be sure, and I'm not entirely convinced that I know what to make of it. The essential premise is that two women team up to use their sexuality in order to manipulate all manner of people in order to climb the social ladder. At first, they keep it simple, doing such everyday things as giving each other hand-jobs in public - not, it would seem, because they actually find each other attractive ("Je ne suis pas une lesbienne" pretty much sets down the ground rules early on - not that this stops them indulging in all manner of saucy games together), but because they want to cause a reaction from onlookers. However, as they become better at their game, they decide to use these abilities to get cushy jobs, running rings round the poor, deluded menfolk of the bureau where they work. Eventually, however, they bite off more than they can chew with the son of the company's boss, a manipulative loon who plays the same game as them, even better than they do.

Overall, I enjoyed what I saw, but I wasn't quite sure exactly what I saw, and I'm not sure whether the film is saying something extremely profound or nothing at all. It's very well acted and photographed, to be sure, and in terms both of its visual style and its cold, detached look at sex and relationships reminds me of Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut, but that comparison may be a bit superficial. In a sense, its coldness and refusal to reach any sort of real conclusion its its biggest hurdle, and as such it can be a little difficult to get into. Still, I liked the film overall and would watch it again.

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India: Raj Kapoor, 1955

Shree 420 suffers from a problem that has crippled virtually every Indian film I've ever seen: it's too damn long for its own good, and the story doesn't justify the length. The story is really too slight to sustain the nearly three hours for which it runs, and it tends to hit the same points again and again with little effect, and the whole plot (naive young vagrant arrives in the big city and caves into temptation, but learns the error of his ways and puts things right) is pretty predictable. It's by no means terrible, and the performances are pretty good, but ultimately I don't think this sort of film is really my "thing".

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UK: Nicolas Roeg, 1980

I really enjoyed this imaginative and unpredictable study of sexual desire. It's unpredictable, ingeniously edited and very well acted, and the whole thing is extremely beautifully photographed. The scene in which our hero (or should that be anti-hero?) "takes advantage" of his unconcious ex-girlfriend is extremely disturbing and something that I can see sticking in my mind for a long time. Great use of the Viennese locations, too.

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USA: Ben Sharpsteen/Hamilton Luske/Bill Roberts/Norman Ferguson/Jack Kinney/Wilfred Jackson/T. Hee, 1940

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