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UK: Jon Harris, 2009; IMDB

What do you do when you're sitting on the rights to one of the best horror movies - scratch that, THE best horror movie - of the last decade? Answer: you make a shameless cash-in that lifts the core elements of the original but none of the heart. THE DESCENT: PART 2 has no reason to exist (other than the obvious financial one). The story had already been told and finished at exactly the right point. Still, I approached the sequel prepared to give it every possible chance, only for it to disappoint me at nearly every turn. Oh, don't get me wrong, there's plenty of tomato ketchup and a handful of really exciting set-pieces (my favourite involves one character trapped after a rockfall and a crawler scrabbling around outside trying to get in), but it just feels completely empty and, by the time the climax comes along and lifts the original's denouement shot for shot, so lazy as to be objectionable.

The director, Jon Harris (who edited the first film), and his three writers seem to be under the impression that all that's necessary to recapture the success of the original is to get a bunch of characters together and send them into the caves to face the crawlers as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, they seem to have missed the fact that what made THE DESCENT such a great film was not just that it was tense, claustrophobic and bloody, but that the six women we followed in that movie were all realistic and vividly drawn. Writer/director Neil Marshall gave them each distinctive personalities but avoided turning them into clichés by relying more on their interplay than on stock traits. Yeah, we got that Holly was the reckless one, Beth was the sensible one, etc., but there was a lot more to them than that, which became abundantly clear when the proverbial hit the fan. In addition to the returning heroine, Sarah (Shauna Macdonald) - the writers actually trot out the dreaded "amnesia" plot mechanic in order to justify having her return to the caves she just escaped from - THE DESCENT: PART 2 gives us five new characters, and the best I can say about them is that each one dies well. They're either dull and uninteresting (the cave rescue leader ehose sole defining characteristic is that he's Australian) or constructed out of the most hackneyed clichés (the impulsive, bone-headed county sheriff who seems to be doing his best to get everyone killed) and as a result it's difficult to give a damn about them. At no point could I remember any of their names, and the only way I could keep track of them was to give them each nicknames based on their nationality or general appearance - names like Kylie Minogue and Father Christmas (yes, I'm mature). And if you don't care about the characters, the tension quickly dissipates and you're left with nothing more than a collection of set-pieces involving meat puppets meating grisly demise after grisly demise. Even the claustrophobic feel of the original is in short supply, thanks in no small part to the inclusion of the heavily built sheriff, who for some reason is able to traverse with ease the same tunnels that a bunch of svelte women struggled to squeeze through in the original.

As Sarah, Macdonald does her best and at times does a very impressive job of portraying someone whose emotions have been ripped out, leaving nothing but an empty shell, but some of the dialogue she has to stumble through is clunky in the extreme, and her performance suffers accordingly on those occasions. The new additions are okay, giving perfectly acceptable performances, but none of them are memorable in any way. Ultimately, though, the biggest problem is that there's simply nothing new here. It's just a cash-in in every possible sense, and whenever Harris repeats footage from the original, or has the new characters encounter the bodies or video footage of the previous cast, you're only reminded all the more of how much better that film was. Perhaps most jarringly, the sequel seems to lift David Julyan's score from the original wholesale, playing the exact same music at the exact same plot points and leaving you with the feeling that what you're watching is nothing more than a soulless carbon copy of a much better film. Which, on the whole, is precisely what THE DESCENT: PART 2 is.

Oh, and it contains a shit gag (and both interpretations of that phrase are equally valid). An actual, honest to God, river of poo. With two of our heroines submerged in it. Played for laughs.

USA: John Musker, Ron Clements, 2009; IMDB

I have mixed feelings about the direction in which John Lasseter has taken Disney animation since taking over leadership a few years back. While the situation now is undoubtedly far better than it was towards the arse-end of the previous regime, there have been some disappointments along the way too, most notably the dumbing down of Chris Sanders' AMERICAN DOG concept into the generic BOLT, and the continual reworking of Glen Keane's RAPUNZEL (most recently retitled TANGLED - eh???). One unquestionable cause for celebration, however, initiated by the man behind the first CG feature, is the return of hand-drawn animation, previously ditched by the bean-counters who headed the previous regime due to a belief that audiences weren't interested in 2D any more.

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG takes most of its cues from the so-called second golden age of Disney animation (basically, THE LITTLE MERMAID through THE LION KING), which isn't entirely surprising, given that most of its key creative personnel worked on that era. There's a definite sense of predictability to it, and there's a distinct lack of risk-taking throughout, but the production values and overall animation quality represent something that hasn't been seen in years. Scroll through the film's technical credits, and it reads like a veritable "who's who" of Disney artists from the second golden age, from THE LITTLE MERMAID (and, erm, TREASURE PLANET)'s John Musker and Ron Clements sharing writing and directing dues to Eric Goldberg (ALADDIN's Genie) leading the animation of jazz-playing alligator Louis. Even the biggest flaws - the bland, po-faced heroine and the predictable plot - can be found in virtually any previous Disney feature, and the meandering, episodic narrative? Well, that's pure JUNGLE BOOK. So what if Dr. Facilier is just a black Jafar and Tiana spends the bulk of the film poo-pooing the typical Disney princess fairytale only to succumb to it hook, line and sinker? It's colourful, technically amazing, riotously funny in places (particularly as far as the more lewd jokes go), and resurrects an art form that was basically dead as far as mainstream cinema is concerned. Now that it's back, it better not be going anywhere for a long time.

Original title: Män som hatar kvinnor
Sweden/Denmark/Germany: Niels Arden Oplev, 2009; IMDB

USA: Michael Moore, 2009; IMDB

Original title: L'armée du crime
France: Robert Guédiguian, 2009; IMDB

Original title: Chinjeolhan geumjassi
South Korea: Chan-wook Park, 2005; IMDB reference

UK/Australia: Christopher Smith, 2009; IMDB

I wasn't really a fan of Christopher Smith's first feature, CREEP. Actually, that's putting it mildly: I thought it was, on the whole, dull and not particularly well-made or acted. I haven't seen his middle child, SEVERANCE, yet, but TRIANGLE is a quantum leap forward for him from CREEP. To be honest, saying anything about the plot whatsoever would ruin it completely, as it's one of those films that you really are better off knowing nothing about before watching it. However, I WILL say that he takes a potentially very tricky concept and pulls it off extremely well, aided in no small part by an excellent turn from Melissa George, who has a rather challenging role on her hands. Although the style couldn't be more different, I was reminded on numerous occasions of Kubrick's THE SHINING, if not in terms of quality then certainly in concept. While I found the characterisation and dialogue to be pretty thin (as was also the case with CREEP), and I can see some people finding the premise itself a bit frustrating, this was a pleasant surprise for me, and I definitely recommend giving it a look. Just try to ignore the dodgy CGI and green-screen...