So you think you've seen it all

11:43 PM / Cinema / 5 Comments

Donkey Punch is a low budget British horror movie from 2008. It was, for the most part, shredded by the critics when it came out, but personally I thought it was better than its reputation suggested. It genuinely surprised me on a number of occasions, particularly with regard to the explicitness of the sex scene that occurs around half an hour into its running time. Said sex scene, I knew, would be guaranteed to run afoul of the American censorship body, the MPAA, once it crossed the Atlantic. It would be a difficult scene to cut out entirely, given that an event that occurs during it is crucial to the progression of the plot. It would also be tough to trim, since, beyond the various shots of breasts, buttocks and willies flopping around, the overall tone of the entire scene is one that I imagine would give your average puritanical American film censor the heebie-jeebies.

Here's what they did.

That's right: someone finally managed to make the censorship of Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut seem subtle by comparison. It just goes to show - a couple of blown-out, DV-quality ass shots and a fleeting glimpse of a lady's hoo-ha make all the difference to the MPAA. Ironic, then, that the R-rated remake of My Bloody Valentine apparently features a woman running around naked as the day she was born, showing everything including the kitchen sink for a good five minutes. (Unless I've been misinformed - as of writing, I haven't seen the film.) Double standards rear their ugly head once again, and I'm tempted to suggest that what frightened the spawn of Jack Valenti about this scene was not so much its explicitness but its realness. As is so often the case with censors, though, they were unable to articulate (or admit to) precisely what was bothering them, and instead went for easy targets - "I saw an ass-crack at 31:29. We can't have that!" It's easy to rag on the BBFC - god knows, they themselves don't exactly make it hard - but I can't remember them ever pulling anything quite as bloody ridiculous as this. (Actually, scratch that - they have.)

I'm well aware that the MPAA do not actually wield the scissors themselves, simply censoring by proxy - in other words, having the studios do their dirty work for them. As such, I doubt they were the ones who made the decision to obscure the actors' backsides and crotches in this manner. I'm sure it was simply a case of them telling the distributors that they objected to the visibility of certain body parts, and the distributors then opted to employ these extremely crude techniques to obscure the offending organs rather than cutting the shots entirely. This doesn't change the fact that, to these censors, the most objectionable element in a scene in which a girl has her neck broken while being buggered after being plied with drugs is a handful of glimpses of backsides and genitalia. I doubt the overall tone of the scene in question is changed by the presence of a few black squares, but it just goes to show how completely and utterly petty these censors are.

True Blood - it's bloody good

10:20 PM / Television / 6 Comments

I started watching this today, although given the sweltering heat I kind of wish I'd chosen something that wasn't set in the Deep South. Anyway, despite the fact that it did nothing to cool me down (seriously, if this fucking heatwave doesn't end soon I swear I'm going to break something), it seems like a great show so far (based on the first episode, that is). It has to be said that vampires are such a hard concept to pull off. Some writers go down the po-faced, deadly serious route, much to their detriment - see Twilight. Others admit the inherent silliness of the subject matter and go for a campy, tongue-in-cheek approach - for instance, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So far, True Blood appears to occupy the middle ground, playing it straight for the most part but not afraid to poke fun at itself.

The Blu-ray Disc's image quality is terrific too, transcending its television origins and looking infinitely richer and more aesthetically pleasing than the consistently cheap-looking Weeds, the only other TV show I've seen on BD thus far. It looks to me like some grain reduction has been applied, and I do detect a slight hint of artificial sharpening on occasions, but this is very, very impressive stuff overall and looks a good deal better than some BDs I could mention of recent multi million dollar blockbusters.

PS. The shots below are all taken from the first two-thirds of the first episode, so there shouldn't be anything too spoilerific in them.

BDs and DVDs I bought or received in the month of June

11:59 PM / Blu-ray / No Comments

• Wednesday, June 3, 2009: Slumdog Millionaire (BD, Region A, USA)
• Tuesday, June 9, 2009: Monsters, Inc. (BD, Region ABC, Japan)
• Friday, June 12, 2009: The Unborn (BD, Region ABC, UK) [review copy]
• Tuesday, June 16, 2009: Gran Torino (BD, Region ABC, USA)
• Thursday, June 18, 2009: Bound (BD, Region ABC, France)
• Thursday, June 18, 2009: Chemical Wedding (BD, Region B, France)
• Saturday, June 20, 2009: True Blood: The Complete First Season (BD, Region ABC, USA)
• Wednesday, June 24, 2009: Franklyn (BD, Region B, UK)

Proprietary... screws?

4:50 PM / Technology / No Comments

Experience has taught me that, with anything computer-related, it's a bad idea to assume that everything will work out just hunky-dory first time. Even if you think you've prepared for every eventuality, there's a strong chance some unpredictable problem will hit you out of left field. That's why, yesterday, I decided to drag my computer out of its cubby-hole and install my new BD-ROM drive and also the one terabyte hard drive I recently picked up, rather than waiting 'til my birthday as I'd originally planned.

Smart move. The BD-ROM drive was fitted without any problems, but when it came to the hard drive, I quickly realised I was in trouble. My PC's case, an Antec Sonata III, comes with a curious solution to the age-old problem of hard disk vibration. (Although I can't say I've ever had a disk die on me due to too much rattling, despite being a computer user most of my life and having owned both more computers and more hard drives than most users!) Instead of screwing the drive directly into the chassis, you instead place the drive on an individual tray with silicone grommets that are designed to absorb vibration. These, however, appear to require proprietary screws. All well and good, I hear you say. Unfortunately for me, each active tray requires four screws, and Antec provide a grand total of eight: fine if you have two hard drives, but what if, like me, you've just picked up a third?

The answer seems to be "tough hooey". I tried virtually every similar-sized screw I could get my hands on, but couldn't get any of them to work. They were either not long enough, too long (so the hard drive would basically just bounce around on top of the grommets, rendering the whole "anti-vibration" thing completely moot) or too thick (in which case they were completely useless). I then went on a less than pleasant jaunt around town, plodding from store to store through the sweltering heat, only to be met with the same blank stare from every salesmen I presented my sample screw to. In the end, I gave up, went home and took a screw from each of my existing hard drives, fastening my new one in place with only two screws rather than the proper four. Hey, it works. Everything's up and running:

Seriously, though - proprietary screws? What were they thinking? It wouldn't be so bad if they offered replacement screws on their web site, but I can't find anything other than traditional thumb screws. I love my Sonata - it's cool, quiet and overall probably the best case I've ever had - but I really wish they would either use standardised screws or at least provide enough screws for all the drive bays.

BD Impressions: Bound

11:27 AM / BD Impressions / 4 Comments

It had been a few years since I'd last watched Bound, and I'd forgotten how funny it could be, traipsing playfully through the conventions of film noir and gangster movies, turning them on their heads in this potent cocktail of Sapphic romance and embezzlement. It teeters on the brink of being a little too on the nose for its own good (if you aren't sufficiently familiar with the clichés it's sending up, then they'll just seem a lot like... well, clichés), but it's ultimately a great little film, and it's a crying shame the Wachowski Brothers' subsequent The Matrix and its dreadful sequels so often get all the attention, since this is clearly their best work. (Okay, so I haven't seen Speed Racer, and for all I know it could be a bona fide masterpiece, but frankly I have my doubts.)

In a comment, I stated that M6 Vidéo's BD release "doesn't exactly look terrific", based on my impressions of the first few minutes. However, while it's far from the most stunning-looking disc of the year, I must admit that my initial impressions may have been a little off the mark. While the opening titles and logo, and any subsequent optical shots, suffer in terms of definition, the rest of the film looks reasonably eye-pleasing. Close-ups and medium shots fare pretty well in terms of detail, although wider shots can look a little ill-defined, with some prominent ringing (see Example 6). Grain retention isn't too bad, but it looks pretty smudgy at times, and I strongly suspect some attempt has been made to reduce it. Like the standard definition DVD release, the print used appears a little on the grubby side, with some noticeable flecks and spots, but these aren't overly distracting, and I'm even tempted to suggest that they add to the gritty noir feel of the piece.

Having only seen screen captures of the Japanese BD release from Cinemart, I can't state with 100% confidence how this French version stacks up against it, but my overriding impression is that the Japanese release looks softer. Given that the Japanese version is in a ratio of 1.78:1 whereas the French release preserves the theatrical 1.85:1, I suspect that two different masters may have been used. Either way, the French release is significantly cheaper and includes all of the extras from the standard definition release, so there's no real competition. 7/10

Bound
studio: M6 Vidéo; country: France; region code: ABC; codec: AVC;
file size: 18.4 GB; average bit rate (including audio): 24.39 Mbit/sec

PS. Please note that, like the Australian release of The Descent, this is one of those discs that includes 50 Hz content in the pre-menu stream. As a result, if you own a Region A Playstation 3 with the latest firmware, you'll be out of luck.

Updated Argento rankings

9:05 PM / Dario Argento / 12 Comments

Having now seen Giallo, I think the time is ripe for me to update my ranking list for Dario Argento's films. In order of favourite to least favourite, they are:

1. Suspiria *****
2. Deep Red *****
3. Opera *****
4. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage ****½
5. Inferno ****½
6. The Stendhal Syndrome ****½
7. Tenebrae ****½
8. Phenomena ****
9. Four Flies on Grey Velvet ****
10. The Card Player ***½
11. The Cat O' Nine Tails ***½
12. Giallo ***½
13. Mother of Tears ***½
14. Two Evil Eyes (segment The Black Cat) ***½
15. Sleepless ***
16. Trauma ***
17. Do You Like Hitchcock? ***
18. The Phantom of the Opera **

This list has remained remarkably static for some time now. His post-Phantom output does tend to shift around a little for me, though. For instance, Sleepless seems to go down in my estimation every time I revisit it, while The Card Player goes up. Conversely, Mother of Tears has remained in much the same position, holding the middle ground. By and large, though, there have been no major changes since the last time I put together one of these lists.

Feel free to reply to this post with your own lists.

Updated, Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 06:01 PM: Updated with ratings for each film.

"Gotcha, ya yellow fuck!"

12:30 PM / Reviews / 10 Comments

Note: the following is a review of Dario Argento's latest film, Giallo, from its world premiere at the Edinburgh International Film Festival. This review is also posted at DVD Times.

A sadistic killer is terrorising Turin. Posing as a taxi driver, he abducts, tortures and murders young women - tourists, loners, those who are unlikely to be missed. Fearing that her sister Celine (Elsa Pataky) has been kidnapped by the maniac, flight attendant Linda (Emmanuelle Seigner) enlists the aid of Enzo Avolfi (Adrien Brody), a quirky, haunted cop who has been working on the case alone. Avolfi, by his own admission, is the ideal person to crack the case, because he understands how the killer's mind works. Nick-named "Yellow" as a result of a rare skin condition, the killer has already proven that he means business; but will Linda and Avolfi succeed in tracking him down before he can do to Celine what he has already done to several other women?

If there is a single trait which characterises Dario Argento's 21st century output, it is its self-referentiality. Always a cineliterate filmmaker, in recent years his material has verged almost on self-parody, with 2001's Sleepless serving as a greatest-hits package of his career, Do You Like Hitchcock? paying homage to his Hitchcockian and German expressionist influences, and most recently the long overdue Mother of Tears concluding his "Three Mothers" trilogy in a manner that might charitably be described as a tongue in cheek romp through the iconography of the Italian horror movement.

Amid all this self-copying, a generation of filmmakers have grown up with Argento's films and been influenced by them, some more profoundly than others. Some, like Tim Burton, have assimilated the maestro's visual style into their own, to impressive effect. Others have been more flippant in their appropriation of Argentoisms, with Quentin Tarantino lifting the music from The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (as well as the image of a villainous psychopath surreptitiously photographing young women) for use in Death Proof, and screenwriter Diablo Cody including a conversation debating the merits of Argento relative to H.G. Lewis in 2007's breakaway hit Juno. In effect, "Argento" has become something of a buzzword for a certain type of movie brat: a slightly edgy (but not too edgy) name they can mention to show that they're a little off the beaten track (but not too far off). "Wow, this is even better than Suspiria!" breathes an awe-struck Ellen Page while watching a scene from Lewis' shlock-fest The Wizard of Gore with Jason Bateman. Well, maybe, if your idea of "better" is a greater quantity of oozing ketchup and fake-looking intestines.

[Continue reading...]

Edinburgh, here I come

8:29 PM / Dario Argento / 5 Comments

Well, I'm off to Edinburgh to catch the premiere of Dario Argento's latest film, Giallo. As with any new project from the maestro, it's difficult to have any idea of how it will turn out in advance, but it should at the very least be an experience. This will be the third Argento film I've seen on the big screen, after The Card Player and Suspiria, both at the Glasgow Film Theatre.

Hopefully, you can expect a full run-down tomorrow. I'm going to be putting together a review for DVD Times, but Argento movies can be notoriously difficult to digest on initial viewing, so if it takes longer for me to collect my thoughts it may end up being delayed.

Trouble in BD-land

1:38 PM / Technology / No Comments

Well, this is a bit of a pain: my PC's Blu-ray/HD DVD combo drive, an LG GGC-H20L, is having problems reading certain BD titles. It simply doesn't recognise them, acting as if there is no disc in the drive.

So far, Waltz with Bashir (UK), Chemical Wedding (France) and the just arrived Franklyn (UK) are all affected, as well as my brother's '09 Panasonic Viera Demonstration Disc Vol. 1. There may be more, but it's interesting to note the common factor: all of them originate from Europe, and all are single-layer discs. They're all also fairly recent releases. Is a factory somewhere in Euro-land pressing dodgy discs? Could be, but that doesn't explain the fact that two of these discs did play at some point in the recent past - Waltz with Bashir and Chemical Wedding. It also doesn't change the fact that all four of these discs play fine in both my brother's and my laptop's drives (an LG GGW-H20L and a Matsushita BD-MLT UK-220S respectively).

Unfortunately, my drive's one-year warranty expired last month, preventing me from getting a replacement. As a result, I've had to seek out an alternative solution, picking up a Sony BDU-X10S for a not unreasonable £50. Obviously, this drive only reads DVDs and BDs, but I'm going to keep my pernickety GGC-H20L around as well and hope it doesn't decide to stop playing HD DVDs any time soon.

Don't you love technology?

Updated, Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 at 05:13 PM: We can add Poltergeist and The Island (UK releases) to the list of problem discs: two more European BD-25 titles.

Updated, Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 at 05:18 PM: And the pattern has been broken: the US release of Final Destination refuses to play. It too is a BD-25, but doesn't originate from Europe. I'm going to keep checking through my collection, but I've yet to find a BD-50 that has problems playing.

Updated, Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 at 08:16 PM: Well, this is peculiar. I opened the tray and blew into the drive, and most of the problem discs are now playing. The Viera disc is still a no-go, but (touch wood) everything else appears to be working. Not that I'm satisfied, though, as even if only a single disc refuses to play, the drive is still clearly flaky.

Just arrived...

1:22 PM / Blu-ray / 6 Comments

Franklyn (BD, E1 Entertainment, Region B, UK)

Catching some Z's

10:49 PM / PhD / 2 Comments

I had my last meeting of the academic year with my PhD supervisor today, at which we discussed my goals for the next few months and also completed my yearly progress report. Result: I've got the go-ahead to proceed to my third year of study.

The general consensus seems to be that I've made a great deal of progress in the last twelve months, both in terms of learning new abilities and putting them to practice with the actual writing of my thesis. For instance, I've become far more adept this year at performing close textual analysis, a process that was all but alien to me this time last year. I have drafts of three chapters - introduction, literature review and first analysis chapter - under my belt, and will be submitting the next chapter at the start of the next academic year, i.e. the end of September.

Obviously, therefore, the coming months will be as busy for me as ever. However, I'm taking the opportunity to put it all to one side for the next couple of weeks and just relax - something I don't feel I've really had an opportunity to do since Christmas. I've also taken some time off work to coincide with this welcome break. Hopefully, I'll be able to devote some of my free time to more reviews and perhaps some more in-depth posts on this site. I am, after all, rarely content to just sit and do nothing, although it's nice to have no pressing commitments for a little while.

BD review: The Unborn

7:30 PM / Reviews / No Comments

Despite half-heartedly attempting to be something more than just another generic possession movie by substituting the usual Catholic mumbo-jumbo with mumbo-jumbo of a different denomination, The Unborn is as unimaginative and forgettable as they come. The AV presentation is top-notch, but unfortunately a nice transfer and a pleasing sound mix do not a good film make. Unless you've made it your mission to collect every last movie about demonic possession in high definition, you'd be as well to simply pick up the likes of The Omen, Poltergeist or The Orphanage, all of which are available in very serviceable Blu-ray editions.

[Continue reading...]

More than just a list of names

8:50 PM / Animation / 11 Comments

The Art of the Title Sequence, a web site dedicated to celebrating - did you guess right? - title sequences in movies and television series, has put together a very interesting piece on the imaginative and rather artsy end credits that accompanied Pixar's 2008 hit Wall-E. Consisting of an interview with director Jim Capobianca and animator Alexander Woo, it covers the inspiration and meaning behind the sequence, as well as the technical and logistical issues the team faced in putting it together.

Title sequences are an under-appreciated aspect of movies, and those that are anything more than merely functional are sadly becoming increasingly rare. The great Saul Bass designs for the likes of Vertigo and North by Northwest are now very much the artefacts of a bygone age, with present-day credits all too often being nothing more than white text flashing on and off or scrolling up a black background. There are, of course, exceptions - the James Bond series, for instance, has maintained its tradition of displaying the principal credits at the start of each movie, accompanied by imaginative graphics. Pixar are another fine example of a company that does credits differently. Having come up with the idea of "animated outtakes" (a tradition that quickly became intensely irritating as every other CGI animation house latched on to the idea), the studio has repeatedly sought to make their credits interesting, so viewers have a reason not to leave the movie theatre as soon as the film proper comes to an end. The Incredibles and Ratatouille both did amazing stuff with stylised 2D animation, and Wall-E continued the tradition in very much the same vein.

Can anyone who saw Up theatrically tell me what they did for the credits of that particular film?

Source: Cartoon Brew

Just arrived...

10:21 PM / Blu-ray / 7 Comments

True Blood: The Complete First Season (BD, HBO, Region ABC, USA)

I've heard mucho great things about this vampiric drama series from Alan Ball, the brains behind American Beauty, Six Feet Under and Revolutionary Road.

Updated, Sunday, June 21st, 2009 at 11:26 PM: Well, slap my face! It turns out Alan Ball had nothing to do with Revolutionary Road after all. Cheers, Erik.

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